[Techlunch] Dilbert type managers
Richard.Elliott@dfat.gov.au
Richard.Elliott@dfat.gov.au
Tue, 30 Jul 2002 12:43:39 +1000
----- Forwarded by Richard Elliott/People/DFATL on 30/07/2002 12:42 PM
-----
Nathan Strong
To: Phillip R Bacon/People/DFATL@DFATL,
30/07/2002 Richard Elliott/People/DFATL@DFATL, Ron
11:50 AM Parker/People/DFATL@DFATL
cc:
Subject: Dilbert type managers
Cheers
Nathan Strong - I.T. Officer
Enterprise Infrastructure - Service Development Section
Information Management Branch - Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade
R.G. Casey Building - John McEwen Crescent, Barton A.C.T. 0221
Ph: (02) 6261 2412 Mob: 0438 014 386 Fax: (02) 6112 2412
----- Forwarded by Nathan Strong/People/DFATL on 30/07/2002 11:50 AM -----
Maurice
Montenegro To:
cc: (bcc: Nathan Strong/People/DFATL)
30/07/2002 Subject: Dilbert type managers
11:28 AM
A magazine ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for
> >people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers.
> >Here are the Top Ten finalists:
> >
> >1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building
> >using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday
> >and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the
> >winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)
> >
> >2. "What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
> >encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
> >
> >3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
> >be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
> >Company)
> >
> >4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more
> >important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
> >Parcel Service)
> >
> >5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant
> >manager, Delco Corporation)
> >
> >6. No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
> >working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll
> >let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota
> >Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
> >
> >7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I
> >say."(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
> >
> >8. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday.
> >When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have
> >to
> >miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could
> >change
> >her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me."
> >(Shipping
> >executive, FTD Florists)
> >
> >9. We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not
> >going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T
> >Long
> >Lines Division)
> >
> >10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a status report to him
> >concerning a
> >project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon
enough.
> >He
> >said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to
> >ask for it!" (New Business Manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards)
Maurice :-)
ph. 6261 1243