[Techlunch] Dilbert type managers

Richard.Elliott@dfat.gov.au Richard.Elliott@dfat.gov.au
Tue, 30 Jul 2002 12:43:39 +1000


----- Forwarded by Richard Elliott/People/DFATL on 30/07/2002 12:42 PM
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                    Nathan Strong                                                          
                                         To:     Phillip R Bacon/People/DFATL@DFATL,       
                    30/07/2002           Richard Elliott/People/DFATL@DFATL, Ron           
                    11:50 AM             Parker/People/DFATL@DFATL                         
                                         cc:                                               
                                         Subject:     Dilbert type managers                
                                                                                           



Cheers

Nathan Strong - I.T. Officer
Enterprise Infrastructure - Service Development Section
Information Management Branch - Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade
R.G. Casey Building - John McEwen Crescent, Barton  A.C.T.  0221
Ph: (02) 6261 2412    Mob: 0438 014 386   Fax: (02) 6112 2412
----- Forwarded by Nathan Strong/People/DFATL on 30/07/2002 11:50 AM -----
                                                                                           
                    Maurice                                                                
                    Montenegro           To:                                               
                                         cc:     (bcc: Nathan Strong/People/DFATL)         
                    30/07/2002           Subject:     Dilbert type managers                
                    11:28 AM                                                               
                                                                                           
                                                                                           




A magazine ran  a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for
> >people to submit  quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers.
> >Here are the Top  Ten finalists:
> >
> >1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only  be able to access the building
> >using individual security cards.  Pictures will be taken next Wednesday
> >and employees will receive  their cards in two weeks." (This was the
> >winning quote from Fred  Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)
> >
> >2. "What I  need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might
>  >encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
> >
> >3. "E-mail is  not to be used to pass on information or data. It should
> >be used  only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat
>  >Company)
> >
> >4. "This project is so important, we can't  let things that are more
> >important interfere with it."  (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
> >Parcel Service)
>  >
> >5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."  (Plant
> >manager, Delco Corporation)
> >
> >6. No  one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been
>  >working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll
>  >let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor,  Minnesota
> >Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)
> >
>  >7. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I
>  >say."(Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)
> >
> >8.  My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday.
> >When  I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have
>  >to
> >miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we  could
> >change
> >her burial to Friday. He said, "That would  be better for me."
> >(Shipping
> >executive, FTD  Florists)
> >
> >9. We know that communication is a problem,  but the company is not
> >going to discuss it with the employees."  (Switching supervisor, AT&T
> >Long
> >Lines  Division)
> >
> >10. One day my Boss asked me to submit a  status report to him
> >concerning a
> >project I was working  on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon
enough.
> >He
>  >said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow  to
> >ask for it!" (New Business Manager, Hallmark Greeting  Cards)

Maurice :-)
ph. 6261 1243